The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
