There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
