I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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