I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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