dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
