Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
