I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
