i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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