I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize