it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
