she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
