Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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