but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize