yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
