She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
