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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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