That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
