you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this just has baby written all over it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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