legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
