the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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