You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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