Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
