My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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