Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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