i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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