I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize