god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
even my farts smell like vagina
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
