I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
