And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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