i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
