At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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