party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i think i just lost a toe
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
