we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
