I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
