They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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