I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
