your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
