Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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