I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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