It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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