plz talk dirty to me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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