You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
