4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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