I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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