oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
