Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
