Where is the hickey?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
