everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
