Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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