hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
