I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
