He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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