no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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