i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
