Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
