First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
