grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
