I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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