I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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