Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got her a Nickelback box set.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
